Health is not just the physical health, there is more...

 

"I don’t know what happens to people right after wedding?"

More oftentimes than not, you have had people lamenting that their spouses changed immediately after their marriage or after some time. When people are dating, they are usually in deep love; they call each other romantic names such as, ‘sweetie’, ‘babe’, ‘hun’, and so many other sweet names. After successful dating for months or even years, they decide to walk down the aisle and proclaim their undying love for each other. A few months or years down the line, things change! They start shouting at one another, claims of infidelity emerge, priorities change, and the one happy couple suddenly have problems. But what is the cause of all of this?

Love Languages

According to Gary Chapman, the author of The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate (1992), our loved ones understand and yearn for one or more of the five love languages, which are, Receiving Gifts; Acts of Service; Words of Affirmation; Physical Touch; and Quality Time.

During dating, people are expected to learn each other. To know what this other person needs in life. How does he/she express love? According to Chapman, every person has a primary love language, that is, out of the five; there is one that means everything for your partner. Hey, wanna know your primary love language? Just click   hereand answer one out of the two questions per every section. You may also request your spouse or your loved one to carry the same test (independently).

Once you have known your or your spouse’s primary love language, start speaking that language to them. Let them feel loved, chances are, they will reciprocate with the same measure of love but now, speaking to you your love language. Eventually, this will result to a strong and long-lasting romantic relationship. The five languages also apply to non-romantic relationships, for example, with your friend, sibling, customers, or even your boss.

Examples of the nourishing words for each love language are as follows:

Receiving Gifts - Giving your partner gifts that show them you were thinking about them, even in your normal work routine. Also, you should always remember their big days, for example, birthdates, your wedding anniversary among others. Always shower them with gifts if you learn that this is their primary love language. PC:

Acts of Service - Doing helpful things for your partner especially in situations where they are tired, stressed, or dealing with a hard task. They include: doing a chore for your partner, running an errand for him or her, or simply taking care of something for them without being asked. Always being there for your loved ones and assisting them to accomplish tasks in the easiest way possible. PC:

Words of Affirmation - Saying supportive things to your partner. It entails giving your partner encouraging, affirming, and complimentary words. They include: always saying, ‘thank you’, ‘great job’, ‘you look attractive or sharp today’, ‘you did it and you can do it again’. If you say demeaning things to people whose primary love language is words of affirmation, chances are they will think that you do not love them and they will develop low self-esteem. PC:

Physical Touch - Being close to and caressed by your partner. For example, kissing and/or hugging each other anytime, anywhere; holding hands; sitting next to each other; massaging; and physical intimacy. If your partner’s primary love language is physical touch, other things may not matter to them more than just expressing physical touch without being asked to. PC:

Quality Time – Giving your partner undivided attention. Quality time does not mean being together all the time, what it means is that every time you are with your partner, you cease engaging in activities that distract you from spending meaningful time with them. For example, not using your mobile phone, switching off your TV when you are with them, or going out for dinner and having deep conversations. PC:

Conclusion

It is vital to learn your partner’s primary and secondary love language and then proceed to speak words or acts that nourish that particular love. Eventually, a strong and long-lasting relationship will be built. You will stop complaining about people changing right after marriage. It is also important to engage in effective communication with them. Lastly, there are so many articles on the internet regarding love and marriage. Just know that everything you find on these platforms should not be treated as gospel truths. Dig deep, and learn. I wish you the best of luck in your current or future relationship and marriage.